The Benefits of Yoga

For a whale, the whole yoga thing can be a bit tricky. Take a moment here to picture it.

Yeah, see? Awkward. But points for trying my brother. 

Agreed. Those balancing postures are a bitch.

But yoga indeed I did. You see, The Grazing Asian (TGA) has this persistent hair brained scheme to inflict the downward dog movement upon her work colleagues and so, being the loyal whale companion that I am, one goes along to enable her delusion. Yes my darling girl, yoga has changed your life but I'm not too sure your work mates are of the same belief. God love her though - she does try. All whirlwind, persistence and irrational perkiness that one (when will it end? Nobody knows).

Anyway, the benefits of yoga that I've discovered, as I'm sure you're all well aware, are plentiful and wide-ranging. Examples generally spouted include: 

• Improved posture
• General good health
• Increased flexibility (TGA can reach the top kitchen shelf at home with her left foot. Great party trick or just kinda weird, don't know. Jury's still out.)
• Improved mental focus
• The ability to consistently bore others around you with the whole "I feel sooooo amazing and in tune with myself" line
• Sudden urges to eat lentils. What's with that?

However, it turns out my favourite benefit of yoga is the inevitable outing to an eatery afterwards to reward all the hard-out stretching and breathing that one has just completed. Humans. Rewarding themselves for breathing. What next?

Aums (or 'Oms') and Namastes cast aside for the week, we two beetled into the bone chilly Melbourne night (sans lycra I might add - I made her get changed. One does not 'legging it' and potentially camel toe in Melbourne CBD - whether you're Asian or not)and came to beach ourselves at a rather random spozzie called The Long Room.

With the powers vested in him and his little phone/mobile thingy that does a gazillion things, TGA's much funner half - Tall Boy (TB)- randomly chose this little den of delights. 

From the outset, any place that you could walk past a million times and not know it was there but then when you actually do find it, entices you in with a red carpetted descent into a dimly lit and yummy smelling space gets all my whale-y senses tingling!

Apologies too - we only had a camera phone at our disposal this night so slightly crappy photos ahead. AND, go figure, The Long Room, is actually a really long room :)

Before I go any further, I'd like to point out that this is NOT a food blog. My whaley aversion to blogosphere wankerism prefers, hmmm...perhaps, "Adventure Chronicles" - probably more apt :)

I also don't profess to know all and everything about every single frickin' celebrity chef skulking the laneways of Melbourne, nor will I spend paragraph upon paragraph waxing lyrical about nigella seeds or verjuice (will leave that to the awes-mazing Maggie Beer). Others do it better than moi - I just like to eat and have handy ol' TGA take piccies along the way. 

So, minor wail aside (get it?! so punny!), let's get a wriggle on. As always and true to TGA form, the evening of grazing begins with a couple of G&Ts. So small in stature yet polishes off a couple in quick sucession. That yoga really must take it out of the wee poppet...

Believe it or not, I never used to drink - they're a bad influence on me these landlubbers...ooh ooh too! New favourite gin - Martin Miller's - if you haven't already - do it :)

Not renowned for being a seafood fiend, all were pleasantly surprised by TB's stellar soft-shelled crab pick.

Ahhhh arancini - how I love thee. Cheeky golden brown balls of rice-y, fior di latte-y, eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of- your-head yumminess. Imagine having a bowl of these at the movies! If I was a squid, I would have just inked myself at the thought.

Am a total geezer for gyoza. Any time, any place, no matter how bad - I'll still scarf them down. Sad but true. Luckily, these little beauties were bang-on, deeply savoury, goodly goodness. 

Japanese crispy chicken with 7 spices. A gastronomical world away from the Colonel's 11 herbs and spices and thankfully, so much tastier! Surprise hits of ginger to reach deep down and warm the soul and fins.

Teehee. Awkward and kinda wrong? Perhaps...but such tasty wrong! Better them and not me I'm thinking...

I know, I know. Now I'm just gloating.

I have to say, the dud dessert of the night. Small, pastry was rock hard, and tragically, that is how the icecream blob arrived at our table. Sad huh? Lemon curd was at eye squinty levels though (that's a good thing).

Almond and custard filo pastry. SORRY!! Horrendous piccie (can't get good help these days) but a solid sweet. Unexpectedly grand - flaky, warm, rich, custard-y AND topped with ice cream. What's not to love? Joy on a plate.

Moi again! In case you hadn't realised by now, I am a TOTAL attention vortex.

Jury's still out on this one. Korean doughnuts in maple syrup...'WTF' I hear you cry. Exactly. Truth be told, kinda glue-y and heavy. Points though for the massive serving. It does look pretty in a deep fried petanque boule kinda way I suppose...

The Long Room:

• Food - would I click home about it? Probably not but it was pretty good. Serving sizes were very generous. Savouries were worth the outing. Desserts could do with a bit of fine-tuning.
• Booze - GREAT selection of everything. $10 cocktails on a Thursday night. TGA didn't indulge this night (highly uncharacteristic) but the seed has been planted in that wee head of hers...
• Service - our waitress was Fabulous with a capital 'F'. Sorry we didn't catch your name (and you clocked off before we left) but you had our hearts when you cracked an Asian joke. And yes, she was Asian (I hear those 'tut tuts'). Think it may have been love from TGA's seat.
• Toilets - thumbs down. I may be a whale and one might think I'm not choosy about where I 'go' but I do have standards. Looked like night club loos and in desperate need of a Jamie Durie-esque overhaul and well, a general wipedown would be nice. Gross. And that was the ladies (I have no choice alright? I go where TGA goes).

And finally, general thoughts, ideas, aspirations, rants...:

1. Stretching it out afterwards is for nerds. A "strenuous" yoga session is best offset by lots of good company, good gin, rambling conversation (often the result of the 'good gin'), and a seemingly never-ending parade of share plates. Communal slash pick/mix dining is the shizz folks.
2. The Long Room is located NOT near the Parliament end of the CBD (yes, TB, I'm talking to you). However, it does make for an 'energising' walk should you find yourselves led astray and parking in that vicinity on a frigid Melbourne evening (again, yes, am looking at you TB).
3. Leggings as pants are a NO-NO. I cannot say this enough. Excusable if you're out running or scarpering from the gym to your car but those are the only exceptions.

Happy Sunday everyone and in my next installment, the gang plus a Westie visitor (hello 'Beautiful A'!) squirrel off to the Franco Choo's. 

A heads up? It was Ahhhhh-MAZING!